“Who am I?”
The most important question in life.
“What do you do?”
I've ruined my initial first impression with several people when asked this question. I respond rather annoyed, balanced with a touch of shortness. The subtle or subconscious primal instinct from others to decide your usefulness to them based upon what you do makes it seem more like a job interview rather than a personal question. You might as well skip to the chase, "Can I have a copy of your resume?"
The self-identity struggle is real but you have to understand it before you can help others; Jesus said ‘Love others as you love yourself.’
You've met those people who introduce themselves, then within a few minutes are giving you a laundry list of accomplishments or activities they are involved in. I am largely disinterested in hearing how busy-accomplished you are. Are you clued into to that fact that rest and peace are gifts from God as well? Nonetheless, you can have all the wealth, status, and even influence you want while also being stressed, anxious, incapable of being alone with oneself, immature, or disingenuous. I tend to exalt a person’s mental, physical and spiritual fortitude over their achievements.
My reactions are critical of others asking, ‘What do you do?’ because I feel the question is rather limiting (especially if that is the first thing they want to know). People will react differently based upon their expectations of your answers, which is a bit inhumane. Do not label, categorize nor box me into your stereotypes. Do not commodify me, then make a decision on our friendship based off of incomplete or likely faulty data.
Thus, the alternative is to ask, 'Who are you?' However, that is awkward. But, it is an awkwardness that I am ok with thrusting into a relationship. Sink or swim! I appreciate this question; although, I admit the sender matters greatly or else it might be met with something like, "Who wants to know?!"
Regardless, I believe 'Who are you?' opens a connection between us that transcends our current circumstances. It is a question that can lead to a flourishing in our relationship’s connectedness. I could ask people, "What are the core values that drive you?" However, many do not think of themselves in this manner. Many do not care for intimate conversations straight out the gate. Or maybe we have just normalized not having them? Some wouldn't even be able to answer the question. If it's not obvious by my writings thus far, I value functionality over aesthetics.
Who is Drexel King?
I Am
I am a child. I've never seen an IG or twitter profile that starts with that, unless they have religious implications - 'I am a child of God'. This is true but I am also the child of Drexel and Robbin. I am a product of others. For better or worse, I would not be here today without my parents or my sister. Stating I am a child is a humbling reminder of the interdependency that I have with others in shaping my life along with life's circumstances.
One of the things I’ve inherited from my parents is to be a tough yet compassionate family man. These are core values I bring to a relationship. One of the best ways to describe what our family uniquely brings to the table is stability in the form of consistency. We are very deliberate in why we do what we do (even if we are wrong and learning to do better). We prioritize the family which has afforded us an environment that most people find peaceful, restful, and stable. We unapologetically stay in our lane.
I am a community seeker as well as a community enthusiast. A community understands life is bigger than themselves; thus, we have a collective responsibility to help our community make the most of it. I believe there is nothing more important than having a diverse tribe around you who celebrates and depends on you, while also holding you accountable to Christian living. I believe that most of my strengths are also my weaknesses in which I need the help of a close community to celebrate or redirect my passions as situations dictate.
I am an aspiring entrepreneur. I say ‘aspiring’ because I don't want to give off the impression that I've done anything significantly entrepreneur-ish (so I need the qualifier there). I’m not where I want to be, but I am trying to figure it out. I will openly say that I am consistently praying and seeking business mentors who know the way, but also want to help show the way.
I am a habitual overcomer. I like challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone. It’s the only way to stay ready, so you don’t have to get ready. For example, you cannot prepare for having a large family, but if you are in the habit of consistently embracing challenges you'll be better off.
I Believe
“Who am I,” has a lot to do with what I believe. It is my core beliefs that drive me to being and doing what I am today. I am a husband, father of 9, Marine veteran, follower of Jesus, and connector. I had activist in that list but replaced it with ‘follower of Jesus,’ as I believe you cannot follow Jesus without caring for your neighbor.
I believe in rest, the persistence of self-work, as well as community-work to redefine our perspectives, but especially for growth in our interpersonal relationships. I'm here for the folks who are interested in putting in the work. I believe in escaping the rat race, stepping outside of the system to see reality for what it is but also knowing how to respond accordingly to the world we live in.
Convictions
Unity in the black community has become the flag that I've planted in the ground. Nothing is preventing us from uniting; meanwhile, there is so much to gain from our collective effort, yet so much to lose from the disconnectedness. I appreciate people who live in solidarity with those facing the most systemic inequalities, discrimination, and reduced access to resources in America, Black Americans.
I am enthusiastically a proponent of home church. I most closely associate with Baptist theology (not in the ways that are stereotypical of that community - again, don't box me in). I feel a deep aversion towards the complacent attitudes among certain evangelicals that leaves the majority of American Christianity comfortable with being self-centered in their theology, decision-making, or outlook.
If you are curious, what I do for vocation is in the realm of project or program management, change management, and leadership development.
This isn’t the sum total but you get the main gist of who I am. What else do you want to know?
If we were to meet in person I would definitely ask you, “Who are you?” so feel free to drop as much information as you’d like in the comment section wherever you’re reading this. Thank you for reading – it means a lot.